Madonna Arms -- the ones from 10 years ago...

I'm not a big fan of her music, I don't own any Madonna CDs, but I have always loved her arms.

Not the arms in that recent picture of her, with skin stretched over bone and muscle (which I've heard was p-shopped anyway) yuck! But these arms --------------------->

I've always wanted the Madonna arms of yesteryear, and so I'm doing this workout. Hope it works!

About broth...

Vegan broth, so low in calories! but really, it's pretty much just flavored water and doesn't really stick to the ribs, ya know? I also had to drink the whole box to feel full. That can get expensive, especially when I was hungry again about an hour later.

Today I purchased a small container of Seitenbacher vegetarian (vegan actually) broth, which has about 40 servings for about $5, and I have to say....thank GOD for TJs....Healthy 8 chopped veggie mix - broccoli, carrots, green cabbage, red cabbage, jicama, green bell pepper, radish, and celery - a nice 16 oz container all chopped up and ready to throw into anything -- which is what I did, add whatever seasonings are on hand, and a bit of my favorite hot sauce -- I crumbled in some fresh crimini mushrooms too - and VOILA!

It's fast, it's easy, it's yummy, and it's only about 50 calories for the whole pot! (that's only 1 weight watcher's point!). Maybe I'll go wild later and add some beans!

I drink lots of broth

to take the weight off
at first i had some misgivings

as I drank the whole quart
satisfaction was short
and my patience for diet was thinning

I decided to chop
fresh cut veggies in the pot
Now this is a diet for living!

Guinea Pigs Eating Watermelon

Yucky Choice

I've now tried three different Healthy Choice entrees -- and boy do I use that word loosely. First of all, they keep you full for, like, an hour. Second the pasta tastes like hardened pencil erasers and the vegetables turn into gelatinous goo.

Real food is the only answer!! I had a humongous bowl of roasted brussels sprouts the other night that were like a little piece of heaven. Take off the leafy bit on the outside, cut them in half, and toss them in a bowl with a little olive oil. Then spread them on a cookie sheet and cook them at 350 for about a half-hour, and halfway through, sprinkle a little balsamic vinegar on them. Omigod! If this sounds suspiciously similar to my roasted-chickpea recipe, except for the vinegar, it's because it is. But hey, if you've got a good thing going, work it!! I'm trying it with eggplant and squash next.

New month, new conviction

I feel like I've let the team down a bit--I sort of limped through October, improving my eating habits marginally but not relly making the all-out effort I need to make to really get back into shape (and my clothes). But November has started off better, and I'm going to try to stay on the wagon -- and get back on right away if I fall off. It's not the falling down that gets you -- it's the staying down.

So I'm on board for real now! I feel like a contrite spouse who stayed out all night and got drunk again and is like, no, really, honey, this time I'll really behave! But I will.

Roasted vegetables are my new saviour!

Nice spread

Mustard mixed with a bit of plain goat's milk yogurt and seasonings
makes a nice dressing or sandwich spread....
but I'm afraid they were wrong, I still miss my mayo.

Computer crash

craving tandoori,
masala, and poori
and dishes that I cannot spell

when I called tech support
they did not fall short
and my taste buds were outsourced as well

Spicing things up...

Trader Joe's Everyday Seasoning - $1.99 - comes in its own grinder.

Ingredients: Sea salt - Mustard seed - Black peppercorns - Coriander - Onion - Garlic - Paprika - Chili pepper - omg it makes anything taste delicious.

I just put it on my poached eggs with 1 slice of Ezekiel bread, and it made 5 points taste like 10!

Thank you Trader Joe's!

What's the points?

I thought...oh, it's just espresso with some soy milk, how bad could that be? But I looked up my Starbucks soy latte, and it turns out to be 4.5 points!!! That's a freakin' meal! Bye Bye soy latte, I shall miss you. Good thing it's early enough in the day to compensate. 17.5 (+5 bonus) points to go! I'm hungry.

Ode to Knowing What's Good For You

Apricots love me,
Apples adore me,
Spinach and carrots can't do enough for me!
My love of chocolate is quite unrequited;
I fear a marriage would soon be benighted.
So, as the tiger might say to the antelope,
You know I love you but dear, we just canteloupe.

The last hideous shopping experience. That's my promise to myself!

So yesterday I'm in Macy's, looking for a dress for a wedding in Michigan in two weeks, and I'm trying them on and looking into the full-length mirror -- something I have studiously avoided doing these past few months. Then I headed back out onto the sales floor and looked at the little icons. "Dresses." "Suits." "Casualwear." Not a one said what I was looking for: "Cyanide Capsules."

After a good cry, I vowed that this would be my last shopping experience like this. I haven't been great at sticking to my diet this past week, but yesterday I was officially Scared Straight. So a big "I Hate You/Thank You!" shout-out to Macy's!!

Happy Anniversary Red!

Wishing you both a beautiful day.

Love,

Green

Not Whining for Wine

Well into Day #4, and i think my clothes are a little less tight. Either that, or I've stretched them out by trying them on every day to see if they are any looser. The no-wine part is not as difficult as I thought it would be...

Tag Team Haiku

I thought I would pine

for my nightly glass of wine

perhaps it's a sign!

What more can I say

little glass of cabernet

you will make my day!

Green out.

I Believe in Endive!

My 2-point afternoon snack. TJ's white bean and basil hummus (3.5 Tbs) centered in an endive flower. Endive is nice and sturdy for dipping, and (I think) a great cracker substitute for any snack. This is my attempt at artistic presentation. I'll have to work on my photography skills.

Payday!

One of my clients finally paid me, enough to go shopping! Trader Joe's then Whole Foods. I was juggling 3 heavy bags on the subway and trying to find something to hold onto, when the nice young man, who I thought might have been giving me the once-over a few moments earlier, but dismissed it as delusional thinking, stepped aside and said, "here you go, my pole is your pole." Is it possible that he was flirting? He was young enough to be my son, for cryin' out loud. So I come home and tell my roommate the story, who says, "Well, why not? You're not a big fat 500 lb disgusting beast". Thanks roomie!

Love the One You're With (or the one you're permitted to be with)

I decided to approach this diet the way I approached college -- do the minimum I need to do for the desired results. So I scoured the South Beach website to find foods I like -- and I will eat the living daylights out of them.

If I can't have pasta, I'll just have to develop a much more intimate relationship with chickpeas, or anything else that tastes starchy. So take that, penne!!

Just a LINK in the Chain Chain Chain...

I love ARETHA! and I love informative LINKS. And so I offer one of each. This and future links will be added to the new LINKS page above for quick reference.

Aretha first....she is Queen, after all...

Have you checked out Livestrong? The whole site is wonderful, but they have a food intake analyzer that lets you keep track of everything on an ongoing basis. For freakin FREE!

http://www.livestrong.com/myplate/

All my love,

Green

30 Pistachios. Seriously.

So on Phase 1 of South Beach you can have nuts. But you can't go crazy with them.

I can have 30 pistachios a day. Which even with their shells on make a pretty pathetic-looking snack. So this morning I parcelled out 30 and put them in a little napkin. I'm pretty sure this is the kind of thing the Donner Party did for their last meal. (Okay maybe their second-last meal.)

Sisterhood

I know we were going to start today, but I accidentally started yesterday. I ate all of my points by 6 pm and then got so busy on a deadline that I didn't stop to eat anything else. And I didn't have any wine at all! (cue angelic audio)

So here's the thing, Red Team. In the name of Sisterhood and all that is good, and just, and low-glycemic index, I have decided that I CAN and I WILL stop drinking wine, with you, for the next two weeks. And I KNOW you KNOW the sacrifice that is for me, like a symbolic head shaving...which I am so happy I don't have to do, because fat chicks really need their hair to offset the size of their hips.

I love ya, Red Team. We can do this!!!

Oh fine now GOD is watching

So I decided since it was "Finish Up Coke Day" anyway and I'd been good all weekend, I'd relax a little for dinner. Tim decided he'd like pizza (thanks for the support, honey!!), so I said okay, pick me up a white slice. Because why not just go all to hell in a ricotta handbasket if you're going to have a last blow-out slice of pizza. So he brings it home and it seems a bit runny, so I stick it in the oven for a bit, and then dive in. Omigod -- it's gorgonzola!! What kind of sick, twisted bastard thinks you make white pizza with gorgon-f*#$in-zola? It had to be some kind of divine intervention is all I can think.

So I had a salad for dinner. Are you happy now, God?!? Jeez.

The South Beach Diet, but with Coke

That's pretty much what I've been doing this weekend. Which, according to Mr. South Beach Doctor Guy, is sort of like, "Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how did you like the play?" Because Coke is Satan, or something. But there's only about eight ounces left (but who's counting? And jittery?), and then I'll be good.

I actually like seltzer. Other than the way it blows out of the bottle when you take the cap off and then the flying cap nearly blinds you, and it burns your throat cause there's nothing to cut through the carbonation, and it has no flavor. But that's what lemon and lime slices are for! The poor little things will feel lost when I plunk them into something other than vodka...

Where the f#*% is "Wish Away The Pounds"?

Yesterday in Target I bought the DVD "Walk Away the Pounds" -- it was on sale, with the Clearance sticker right over the instructor's face. So sad. What could I do but take her home?

But once she shook off that pesky sticker there was no stopping her. The woman is so cheerful you want to smack her. Is there a "Smack Away the Pounds"?

So I decided this morning to just go out and walk. But upstate there are no sidewalks, so you have to dodge cars careening around blind curves. So it's pretty much "Pray Away the Pounds."

What is with the disco background, by the way?

Not that I'm criticizing, as my mother would say. (Though I'm actually not criticizing.) I'm hoping it will inspire me to get back to my disco-era weight. And along the way I can enjoy such ditties as "I Will Survive (Without Wine For Two Weeks)," and "Shake Your Booty (Into Smaller Pants)." Don't stop me now -- I got million of 'em! (No, seriously. You'll be seeing more of these. And feel free to join in!)

I'm only two weeks from wine, though!

Owing to the ginormous glass of Coke in my hand, I can't say I've been on SB religiously this weekend, but once the bottle runs out (actually, even before that -- when there's only a little left, it always tastes flat), I will be able to go the full South Beach. (Which sounds like some sort of exotic waxing treatment, no?). Then it's only two weeks till wine! In moderation, of course -- but Moderation is my middle name! No, wait, it's my confirmation name. Oh, no, that's Madeline. Anyway it's close.

OK but...

It's noon, and I have so far had 6 of my 22 points (I get an extra 5 per day, that I can distribute throughout the week, but I like to save those up for the weekend, for, you know...ok, I won't torture you by saying wine. Oops, sorry.) I hope my clients send me checks soon, I need to go grocery shopping. Fat AND broke is really no way to live.

1 medium sweet potato - 2 points

2 tbs tofutti sour cream - 2 points

Yea for chickpeas!!

See, but on South Beach, you could eat, like, five cans of them. I just had a humongous breakfast of eggs and homemade crabcakes (couldn't use breading, so they kind of fell apart, but who the f*#$!# was photographing them? No one!!). I could have five more helpings if I felt like it. Sure, it would end up like the pie-eating scene from "Stand By Me," but I'm just sayin'. But no starch and no sugar and no booze -- three of the four major food groups. Sigh.

Yay Red Team!

It's confusing figuring out the blogging if you've never done it before. We both have administrative privileges, so feel free to play around and change things if you want, including the style, background, layout, etc.

I think I was ok yesterday, I didn't have anything really BAD to eat, no sugar or chemicals, but I did make myself a tuna-pasta salad with spelt pasta and grape seed oil mayonnaise. I think I might have lost some points on that one. I didn't actually count my points (because I wanted that tuna pasta salad more than I wanted pretty much anything, and I convinced myself that since the blog wasn't up yet there was really no point, right???) I get 22 points per day on Wine Watchers, but I do know that I drank every single one of my wine points. Go GREEN!!!

OK, so basically...I'm starting today! It's Sunday at 10:20 and I am drinking coffee with 2 points worth of soy milk. I have to finish off the soy products that I have in the fridge and get off soy, I've read too many articles saying that it is bad for your thyroid. So now I can blame soy for my weight gain, not the 5 lbs of Christmas cookies that I made for clients last year that never got sent...oh, and I am also off baking.

I made the roasted chick peas last night.....yummy!!! thanks for the tip. :)

Okay, I think it's working now -- and by "it" I mean my cognitive ability

I was actually pretty good dietwise today, except for Coke. Gotta cut that out. But otherwise, I stuck to SB. Which was amazing because it's chilly up here and that usually makes me eat like a hiberating bear.

Hello, is this thing on?

Hi new team member - whatever you called yourself. Welcome to the blog. Click on the B in the top left corner to get to the dashboard and post your entry. I think. :)